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"It's easier to be a full-on single parent than to co-parent with a narcissist"

Co-parenting With a Narcissistic Partner or Ex 101

90 Minute Workshop

Price - £30

7th of December 2022

12-1.30 pm GMT

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9 Steps to support your children consistently whilst preserving your sanity.
Who is this for?

 

  • Do you feel like you’re losing your sanity co-parenting with a narcissistic partner or ex?
  • Do you see your children struggling with your partner/ex's narcissistic behaviour?
  • Your children are becoming withdrawn, acting out, anxious
  • You have chosen to stay with a narcissistic partner. But you want to protect your children from the turmoil and drama
  • You’re in a high conflict separation with a narcissistic partner and you need help coping with the abuse and manipulation
This 90 minutes workshop is aimed at helping you,
  • Understand what narcissistic behavioural patterns are
  • Recognise different types of narcissists and why it’s important to know these types
  • Understand the impact of narcissistic abuse on you and children
  • Understand what post separation abuse is and how to protect yourself and children from it
  • Understand the impact of post-separation abuse on you and children
  • 4 pillars to support your children - Consistency, self-regulation, alternative environment, critical thinking
  • Recovering from narcissistic abuse - It can be done and I will share what may be necessary step by step. 
  • Simple tools to take away - I will teach how to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), TTT (Trauma Tapping Technique, breathing technique and some other energy techniques to support you and your children regulate. This reduces the intensity of trauma/intense emotions and helps you get clarity. 
  • Action Plan
  • Q & A
 Co-parenting with a person who loves conflict, who is rigid, entitled, vindictive, antagonistic and dysregulated can be one of the most difficult things you ever do in your life. That's why you need all the support, understanding and the skills to  navigate this difficult journey. 
If you are interested in the workshop, you may be going through the following. 

 

⬜  The narcissistic parent treats you like it is mandatory that you parent, but it is a choice for them
⬜  The narcissist breaks childcare arrangements or doesn’t show up at all when it’s their turn to pick the children up
⬜  They trash you to your children
⬜  They are surrounded by people who enable their lies and drama and keep trashing you in front of your children
⬜  Your children feel like it is their duty to protect them and they get caught in the crossfire
⬜  You are left to do everything from supervising children to running the entire home whilst working. 
⬜  They make  you feel bad about whatever goes wrong in child’s life
Amidst all of that chaos, you are probably blaming yourself,

 

⬜  for choosing to have a child with a narcissist 
⬜  for the toxic separation that children go through or the toxic environment that your children are brought up in if you are still living with them
⬜  for gaslighting and manipulation your children are put through by the other parent
⬜  for having ignored the red flags in the relationship early on
⬜  for having to allow your children to spend solo time with the narcissistic parent without you being there to protect them
Your dilemma probably is that you neither want to gaslight your children nor you want to say anything bad about the other parent to protect your children from further trauma. 
 
 
Truth be told, having an antagonistic parent does have its toll on children. The most painful part of this Herculean task is to watch the pain, confusion and trauma that your children experience whilst you are going through confusion, numbness, depression and anxiety yourself. 
 
 
There is HOPE and GOOD NEWS.

In this workshop, we are going to develop a basic understanding of how to support yourself and your children amidst this chaos. We will draw an action plan together for you to take away so that you walk away from the workshop with clarity and actions to take to look after yourself as well as your children. 

 
You can be that one solid parent who is present and consistent in your children’s life that can be an offset to the narcissistic parent.
 
You can provide your children with the empathy, compassion, secure attachment and the mirroring your child needs. 
 
“The tyranny of narcissistic abuse is that we blame ourselves for the narcissistic person’s behaviour” - Dr. Ramani Daruvasula.
 
I can help you decide on how to support your children whilst ensuring your well-being is taken care of. 

About Me:

 
The reason why I do the work I do is because of my own experiences. I was that child who got trapped between two narcissistic parents' crossfire and needless to say I attracted many narcissistic people in my life. I spent years drowning in quicksand of abuse but blaming myself for it. Often or almost all the time, I thought abuse was love due to the childhood trauma that I have experienced. This kept me trapped in narcissistic relationships that sucked my soul out of me. It was when my daughter was born and I was diagnosed with severe depression, generalised anxiety disorder with suicidal thoughts that I decided to change the way I lived. Since then, I have been spending every minute consciously carving a better life for my daughter and I. It is my dream to see our children grow with the love and empathy that they deserve. I would love to see you claim your authentic self back after years of abuse and live a vibrant life

You can read more about me here.

 
This workshop is ideal if you resonate with the following. 

 

  • You are excited to build a lasting, trusting relationship with your children
 
  • You want to support your children to attract healthy relationships in their lives despite having a narcissistic parent
 
  • You feel exhausted and you want your energy back for you and your children. 
 
  • Your children know that your partner/ex partner is hurting you. That’s painful for them and they feel like they have to protect you.
 
  • You can’t remember the last time you had fun with your children and you want to enjoy them by being present in their lives
 
  • You feel sick worrying about the same, doubt, manipulation, fear and inferiority that your children are experiencing when they are with the narcissistic parent and you want to be present for yourself and create a healthy environment when they are with you
 
  • You are worried about the fact that the narcissistic parent is installing opposite values and engaging in extremely permissive parenting to offset your best effort in parenting. You want to role model trusting relationships and boundaries so that your children grow up feeling confident and contained.
 
  • You find your children’s needs overwhelming and then you feel guilty, worried and sad when you have lost your patience with them. You want to stop this cycle from happening frequently.
  • You have been taking talking therapy but it feels like nothing is changing. You are looking for approaches that have the capacity to help you.
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What this workshop is NOT about:

 

  • Solving all your problems in 90 minutes. 
  • Giving you false promises and telling you that it’s all going to be rainbows and unicorns if you work with me. Recovering from narcissistic abuse and helping your children through their adverse experience is definitely not unicorns and rainbows. 
  • Me selling my programmes to you by telling my stories. I do have a story to tell but this is about you making the most of 90 minutes that you carve out of your very busy schedules. If you would like information about me, please do visit my website and read ‘About Me’ page. 
  • Me telling you that applying one tool is going to suddenly heal you - healing doesn’t happen that way. You also have to consider that you can’t bubble wrap your children and they have their own journeys to go through. 
  • Giving you any financial and legal advice - I am not qualified to do so. But, if you do like such information, let me know and I can arrange another workshop with a fantastic Family Law expert who is a great colleague of mine. 
 
P.s. - There will be a 5 minutes shameless plug to my Meantime Programme; a 4 weeks group coaching programme to help you with the 4 pillars of supporting your children. You are not obliged to buy. If you feel like it’s the right programme for you, I invite you to take 24 hours before making a purchase. Don’t ever commit in the moment, not to me or not to anyone else. 
This workshop is Not for you if you are

 

  • Looking for quick fixes
  • Looking to offload your issues and talk about it 
  • Looking to blame the narcissist and not take any responsibility for your own power in parenting
  • Your children have grown up and they are living their own lives
  • You are in immediate danger of domestic abuse
  • You are experiencing acute depression and other mental health concerns that needs medical attention
  • You believe your calendar is fully booked all the time and you won’t have time to put actions into practice. 
  • You are one of those individuals who likes to attend workshops and gain knowledge but not want to do anything to change the circumstances.
  • Looking for answers for all your problems. 
  • Averse to holistic therapy. I use holistic tools, life coaching and NLP. I am not a clinical psychologist or a licensed mental health practitioner. I am an advanced EFT and a Matrix Reimprnting Practitioner, ICF accredited Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner. I was in teaching for almost 20 years and still do teaching occasionally with an EU funded charity. I hold three university degrees, all related to teaching in addition to my coaching and holistic therapy training. 
What others say about my workshops:
(The below feedback was from a workshop I delivered to NHS staff)
"It was a really great session- many training sessions are too focused on theory. I came away with practical tools to start using today. Really helpful and well designed. Thank you!"
 
"Nisanka, thank you so much. You had such lovely vibrant energy, I really appreciated the way you presented everything and explained everything. I resonated a lot with what you talked about at the beginning and become emotional (in a good way) at points during the presentation - when relating with what you and others said, but also when practicing some of the techniques. I've been feeling really stressed lately and this session was exactly what I needed. So glad I attended. Thanks again :)"
 
""Thank you so much. Was such a great workshop and I loved Nisanka's openness and honesty. Really helped me, as someone who is very negative about myself and my abilities it was good to know I wasn’t alone."
"Nisanka is a breath of fresh air! She fills the room with light and has a infectious laugh. Her tips are so helpful and greatly received. I attended an hours workshop to find out more about the service she offers and this was very helpful. She offered tips, and ways to make you feel calmer, also ways of thinking through anxious and negative thoughts that we experience daily. Thank you Nisanka." - Keira
"I had a pleasure of working with Nisanka while leading the Community Connectors Programme at RISE. From the first call, Nisanka showed nothing but enthusiasm, empathy and professionalism. I've been really impressed by her ability to quickly understand the needs of women on our programme. She designed a beautiful workshop on Confidence & Money Mindset, which gave everyone a lot of food for thought and provided with practical tips on managing negative thinking patterns and anxiety. Thank you for all you amazing work Nisanka!" - Ewa Lelontko (Employment Engagement Manager) RISE - (Domestic Abuse Help Charity)
Practicalities: 
 
What happens when you register?
 
  • Use the box at the bottom of the page to book your space
  • Once you have paid and registered, you will receive an email to confirm your payment. Please check your spam and add me to your contact list to avoid my emails being sent to your spam. 
  • A different email will follow 48 hours before the workshop date with a zoom link to attend and a workbook
  • You have a week to ask for a refund from the date of purchase. After this week, no refunds will be made
 
During the workshop
 
  • Make yourself comfortable - grab a drink and a blanket if possible. Be in a quiet place undisturbed.
  • You can keep your camera off and if you want to stay anonymous, use the three dots on the zoom screen and change your name. No one will know you are there.
  • If you do like to make yourself visible, please feel free to do so. It would be nice to see your faces.
  • You will not be asked to share your stories however, you may share anything you would like to share using the chat. You can directly message me if you prefer.
  • I will take you through the information using slides. I will take this at a pace that’s comfortable for all of us. So, I will keep checking in with you and you can communicate with me using the thumbs up button or just talk to me. 
  • I will share some easy tips and tools that you can use with your children. You will have these in your workbook which will be sent to you prior to the workshop
  • You will not be traumatised. However, you may experience some intense emotions. Please do let me know using the direct chat and I will guide you through things. If you don’t want to message me, take a walk, take a deep breath in 4 and let it out in 7 or sip a cold or a hot drink. 
  • The workshop will be recorded.
 
After the workshop
 
  • You will receive an email within 48 hours with the link to the recording. Please download as the link is likely to expire within a week.
  • If there were unanswered questions during the workshop, this email will contain answers to them as well. 
  • You will receive some information about my Meantime Programme in this email. Again, no obligation to buy anything. 
  • The follow up email will also give you links to check out my individual programme and my website. 
  • Your email will automatically be added to my mailing list and you will receive my weekly emails with valuable information and upcoming programmes. You can unsubscribe at any time. 
  • Thank you for reading. Hope to see you at the workshop
Cost : £30
 
*If you still would like to attend but cannot afford the ticket, please do get in touch with me. I guarantee, we can find a way to get you the help you need. 
(If any of you would like to make this payment in the strictest confidentiality away from your shared bank accounts etc. please contact me via nisanka@coachingwithnisanka.com and state how you would like to make the payment. I can facilitate BACS transfer so that you can use any reference that works for you)
 

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